OK so you have a 3 year old son who pees on himself? You make sure he never forgets it. You remind him daily that you got potty trained at 2 months!!!
Now he is 6 years old. School year end was yesterday and he didn’t get a prize in any subject. No award whatsoever. You shout, you rave, you spank. For crying out loud!!! Why can’t he ever do anything right? He couldn’t even get the best behaved boy award. How difficult can that be!!!!
As the days go by, every fault of his, every mistake, every unfinished task never gets to be forgiven. You store all in your archive. You remind him non stop how well your friend’s son is doing, how well that neighbour’s daughter is doing………….
Fast forward to now. He is 30 years old. A mechanical engineering graduate. Made a 1st class. Almost stressed himself to death just to prove to mum and dad that he is not the world acclaimed dummy they always said he was.
But let’s assess him further, shall we?
Communication skills? Zero. He is more aggressive than assertive. Do you blame him? I don’t. He is on a mission to prove himself. No time to waste.
Self Confidence? Zero. You honestly wonder why?
Positive attitude? Zero.
Do I need to continue?
Back to you dear mum and dad . You don’t have a son. You have a machine. Why? Because all the soft stuff that make him human are missing. It took you 30 years to slowly but steadily destroy him.
Tip #1: Parents be guided. The impact you have on your kids is much more than you can ever imagine.
Tip #2: Any behavioral similarities between you and the engineer mentioned above? Don’t peg off yet. There is hope. These skills can be learnt. They can be acquired.
Have a great day.